First, not all courtship parents are controlling and overbearing to the point that their children will marry just to leave home. I know you didn’t say that and you probably don’t think that at all. But I just wanted to add that it can happen in any situation. There are a lot of parents taking the “normal” route of dating, college, etc and their kids will do anything to get away from home.

Along the same lines, your scenarios could all happen in any situation. They don’t have to be courtships to have trouble talking to their parents, sneak around, have outside influences or failed relationships. It seems to me that these are problems with other areas. Again, I know you are just giving examples. But to me they are not arguments against courtship when they could happen to anyone.

Our older children have shared their struggles with us without fear of disappointing us. Our belief in courtship is just an extension of who we are. First and foremost we are parents that love our children and want the very best for them that God has to offer. We work very hard to let our children know that we all have struggles with living for God….and by the way, that’s what we teach them….living for God not living for their parents.

I don’t understand the three month thing. I’ve never heard that before. But I do know that relationships that started in courtship sometimes fail. I don’t know the statistics, but I wonder if it is less than marriages that began with dating. Anyway, there are no formulas or rules here. For our family, dating the way it is done today is not an option. But we don’t know what the Lord has planned for our children and they certainly are different and have different paths, so I am sure their future courtships will be different also. Like you said, there’s another person involved with their own ideas and family influences. We don’t have a specific plan, it seems like that could be asking for trouble. But the goal must be purity, honoring God’s Word and glorifying Him. Lisa~